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The time Nutella accidentally invited us to their party…

By Marie-Antoinette Issa |


IQS- The time Nutella accidentally invited us to their party

Dear Nutella, 

Thanks for the recent email from your PR team, inviting us to personalise a jar of Nutella and emblazon it with our name.

Trouble is, we’re not sure our fans would thank us. Your tactics may be a sugar-hit (and crash) with some, but here at IQS we’re RSVPing with a resounding “NO!” to your “Get-your-name-on-a-Nutella-jar” party. And here’s why…

The first ingredient is sugar: In fact, a two-tablespoon (37 gram) serving of Nutella contains 21 grams of the stuff. In case you missed the memo, the World Health Organisation now advises we aim for six to nine teaspoons (24- 36 grams) in total a day.

And the second? Vegetable oil: The kind that goes through a hydrogenation process to make it last as long as saturated fats, becomes unusable to the body, and causes all kinds of issues. (Think: inflammation, increased risk of heart disease and even cancer.)

And about the use of skim milk powder… What’s your problem with using real, full-fat dairy anyway? It tastes better, is lower in sugar and is loaded with fat-soluble vitamins which enhance protein and mineral absorption.

You use soy lechitin as an emulsifier! As Sarah has pointed out, most soy grown is genetically modified and brings with it a heap of health problems. Shall we start with the thyroid dysfunction or hypothyroidism in women; the evidence it may disturb endocrine function, cause infertility, and promote breast cancer; or the way it can prevent the absorption of calcium, magnesium, iron, and zinc? How about all of the above?

Can we talk about your use of vanilla flavouring? It’s kind of sad that real-life vanilla bean pods aren’t your thing. Want a tip? Now would be a great time to brush up on everything you know about Just Eating Real Food.

You’re trying to convince us it works as a breakfast food… We’ve seen the pics of retro milk jugs and grainy-breads on your website. But with all due respect, we don’t agree that it’s the best way to start the day.

Speaking of, we prefer to pimp our toast with avocado. You know, just so we can get our fibre, mono-saturated fats and beta-sitosterol (clinically proven to reduce levels of ‘bad’ cholesterol) on. We’d rather leave the increased risk of diabetes, cancer and wrinkles that come from a high-sugar diet out of this, if that’s ok …

You’re marketing to kids! We even found a spreadsheet on your website called “Nutrition for the soccer player”. Interesting, but last time we checked obesity, mood disorders and an inhibited immune system do not a pro footballer make.

It’s unoriginal: We swear we’ve seen another big sugar company trying to market their product by offering a customised version to customers before… Oh hi, Coca-Cola!

We think our recipe for Sugar-Free Nut-ella is a hundred times better anyway!

Yours sincerely,

The I Quit Sugar Team

x
PS: Is this invitation transferable? Cause we think the Dr Alan Barclay and Low-GI people would be keen. (Insert *wink* emoticon here…)

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