We’ve spoken to top sex therapist Isiah McKimmie in the latest episode of the IQS Unprocessed podcast to hear her tips and tricks to tackling taboos around sexuality, managing libido and cultivating a healthy relationship with your partner. 

So, what does a sexologist do? Sexologists and sex therapists – as the titles imply – help people with their sex lives and libidos. But it’s not just about sex, Isiah says it’s also about outside struggles in people’s lives, hormones, intimacy and understanding oneself.

Isiah says, “I help people have more enjoyable sex lives, overcome sexual challenges they might be having, and I help them improve their relationships and have more loving, harmonious relationships.”

Growing up, Isiah reveals that sex was a taboo topic as a child with “sex never really spoken about” in her household – as is the case for many – leading to a number of unanswered questions. It was after undertaking a tantra workshop that Isiah began to understand and nurture her relationship with sex.

“Tantra helped me become more confident in my body, it gave me practical tools for having more intimate, connected relationships,” Isiah shared on Unprocessed. “From there, one thing led to another, and I ended up teaching tantra and studying amazing courses.”

There began Isiah’s journey into a career in sexology where she now helps others learn those skills and tools to create a healthy sex lives and relationships. 

Don’t fear tantra

Despite the taboo surrounding tantra, Isiah says it’s not just about sex.

“Tantra is about so much more than sex, at its heart it’s a spiritual practise,” Isiah revealed on the podcast. “We most know it in the West for the benefit is has for our sex lives and relationships, but there is so much more to it than that.”

Tantra is a spiritual and philosophical tradition with origins in ancient India – it encompasses a wide range of practises, from meditation to yoga, with a goal of cultivating spiritual energy, reducing stress and opening your mind. One of the taboos associated with tantra is the idea that it is primarily focused on sexual practices. While it is true that tantra includes some practices that involve sexuality, these practices are only a small part of a much larger tradition. Moreover, tantra does not promote the pursuit of sexual pleasure for its own sake, but rather emphasises the importance of creating a deep connection and mutual respect between partners. 

Using nutrition and lifestyle to fuel libido

“Oysters are great for male libido because men lose zinc when they ejaculate,” Isiah says, sharing that zinc, of which oysters are rich in, is believed to be an aphrodisiac.

The sexologist says keeping our environmental and lifestyle factors in mind is also essential for both men and women, as outside stressors can create trouble for libido.

“What’s going on around us in our lives, in our relationships, in our internal world in terms of emotions and stress levels, that actually plays a larger role than things that are physical,” Isiah says.

Things like tiredness, stress and family responsibilities can all affect libido, according to the sex therapist. 

"When we lead busy lives, it’s going to increase stress levels and as our stress levels go up, our ability to engage in pleasure and connection go down," the sexologist shared. 

Here are 3 of her tips to deal with these factors:

1. Scheduling time for intimacy: Isiah says “setting aside time for bedroom dates” can be one of the best ways to maintain a healthy sex life for long-term partners, sharing that these kinds of dates can allow a break from outside influences and stressors.
2. Listen to your body: The sexologist says it’s important to “tune into our body” to know what does and doesn’t feel right, and this ensures the relationship is more honest, intimate and comfortable.
3. Understand social taboos: Isiah unpacks many of the societal judgements that are directed at women, resulting in shame – she says putting these ideas under the microscope is a great way to strip them of their power. 

No Ugly

Keen to add in a simple, tasty supplement for your libido? No Ugly has something for that too. These nutrition aficionados have formulated a tonic with ingredients like ashwagandha, maca root, ginseng and gingko biloba to boost your health and wellness. This unique formulation combines the research of modern science with the wisdom of ancient tradition to provide a powerful, nourishing tonic you can enjoy anywhere, any time. Plus, it doesn't hurt that it's bursting with the tase of strawberries and cherries to transform that libido into gorgeousness. 

Sounds good, right? Try it for yourself HERE.

Want to learn more about libido, breaking down taboos and more tips to navigating a healthy sex life? Head on over to our Unprocessed podcast for this latest episode with leading sexologist Isiah McKimmie.